Andy has been “It’s my birthday! Its Christmas morning! It’s the last day of school! We’re going to the zoo today!” excited for the World Cup for about 3 months now. Many of our plans for June revolved around the World Cup schedule. Andy has even worked out a ‘flexi-time’ work schedule with his boss so he can catch the week day games. Unfortunately for Andy though, my birthday – and therefore my Official Birthday Weekend – falls smack dab in the 2nd round of World Cup, a fact that he is none too happy about. In fact he mentioned when he found out, “it’s an oversight on my part. I should have realized your birthday was in June before I married you.” He was kidding of course, or at least I hope he was, and he is still planning on taking me somewhere (it’s a surprise he’s managed to keep from me) with the stipulation that he can catch at least a couple of the matches. I’m not a cruel woman, I agreed – with the stipulation that I am not expected to get up early on my birthday weekend to watch these matches with him.
Speaking of getting up early – you know what time the first game starts on the West Coast? 4:30 AM. FOUR. THIRTY. A. M. Seeing as Andy wants to see as many games as possible of the World Cup, guess what time he is waking up both Saturday and Sunday this weekend? I wholly plan on getting my sleep on Saturday but will grudgingly get up at the ass crack of dawn (is it even considered ‘dawn’ at 4:30 AM?) on Sunday to see the Slovenia vs. Algeria match. I’m not sure why though. I don’t really like soccer. Oh, sorry sweetheart, football. I don’t really like sports in general. I mean, I like hockey. And I’ve been watching the Green Bay Packers play the last few years because I miss Wisconsin (especially in the fall), but all other sports? Nah. But that’s what I get for marrying outside my accent.
In an effort to get myself into something that I don’t really care too much about, I put some money down on Davey Davey’s World Cup pool. Nothing gets me involved faster in something like good ole fashioned gambling. By luck, I drew Brazil (which I hear is good) and Slovakia (which I hear is bad). Andy, as an early birthday present, got me Slovenia (for obvious reasons). I’m really rooting for Slovenia - somebody has to you know. Which is why I’m getting up at 4:30 AM on Sunday morning to watch football; I have to make sure my investments are paying off. And what I mean by ‘investments’ is actually ‘betting money that I will never see again’.
It’s fucking World Cup, bitches. While my dear, sweet, husband will be spending all of June doing this:
Andy puts away his difference to Froggies during the World Cup - as long as they buy him a pint and promise not to talk about mimes.
I will be stuck here, doing this:
But it's World Cup, bitches!