29 January 2010

Me, on marriage

Earlier today Andy was at the County Clerk's office desperately trying to get a new original marriage license as our old original marriage license has seemingly been lost in the mail. We suspect that our officiator failed to put on the correct postage and\or place a return label on the original mailing which sadly could be a common oversight for a man of his age and nose hair length.

This puts me in a strange state of mind in the sense that if the original document stating our holy matrimony is lost (in my head I see it clinging precariously to the side of a letter bin screaming, "NOOOOO, I don't want to go to grandma's house!") then technically, really, until I and everyone that needs to sign the new document signs the new marriage license, we're not married. Well, we are, but we aren't, and it's very confusing and brings into light what it means to be married. Some may state that we are married in the eyes of the Lord, but since neither Andy and I believe in that sort of malarkey, it really falls on the legal side of married. Now legally speaking one would assume that the minute all parties sign the marriage license then the marriage is valid. But what if that document doesn't exist anymore? Part of me feels that at this point in time, if I wanted, I could refuse to sign the new marriage license and walk away never having been married. Not that I would do this, or even have the slightest urge or consideration to do that, but it's just one of those "what ifs" that I enjoy playing around with*.

It really puts in perspective some people's philosophy that marriage is just a piece of paper, doesn't it? I tend not to think this way. I am one of those hopeless lot that thinks of marriage as something a bit bigger. But that's just me. I can completely see the piece of paper side of things.

What I really wanted to bring up is this overwhelming need for anyone who approaches a newly married couple to ask them, "how's married life?" Before I say anything, up until 3 weeks ago I have uttered that question - quite a lot actually. Never again.

What I hate about this question (as a newly married) is that I don't know how to respond. My humor side and my honest side compete a lot over this inquiry and my honest side always wins out (much to my dismay). Nothing is different being married. Everything is exactly the same as it has always been except I sign my name different and call someone my husband. It's not like every morning since we got married a flock of white doves invade our bedroom singing a happy married people morning song. Not only would that piss off the cat but I'm sure even singing white doves leave a mess. What do singing doves even eat? Do you have to tip them like a mariachi band? Now that would be cool....a happy married people morning song by a mariachi band - but only if they had fabulous mustaches.

You know, I am lying just a wee bit. And I've been lying a wee bit as I'm a bit embarrassed about admitting this. Truth be known, I do feel different sometimes. It doesn't happen too often and when it does I'm usually ticked off about something else and its my way of making myself feel better. OK, here it is....sometimes I get a bit smug. It's terrible, I know. I pretty much yell at myself anytime the smugness comes up for being such a tool.

So what about you all? All 5 people who read my blog (who I happen to know are all married)...how's married life (ha!)? Did you expect it to feel different? Does it feel different over time? Do you know a good mariachi band?

*Another "what if" that I always think about is if everyone in the entire nation wrote in a vote to have Mickey Mouse as President, what would happen? I honestly hope Mickey Mouse would really become president.

28 January 2010


Just because I like posting back to back then disappear for a month, here's just something I stumbled on. Poladroid takes your digital pictures and converts them into Polaroid type pictures. Golly, even Justin Timberlake likes using it, it must be good!

What I like is that it takes forever and a day for the picture to 'develop', just like a real Polaroid.

Hey, wedding picture!:

But I've already switched to decaf.

So this morning I'm driving to work and I notice that the driver in front of me has, from what I can tell from the angle and squintyness of early morning, a huge mop of frizzy, curly, grey hair on which on top he has placed the most comical little black bowler hat. I know this is hard to describe and I really did attempt to draw you a picture in Paintbrush but it really didn't do it justice so you'll just have to bear with me here...but just imagine. Normal sized man with really big, I mean like Carrot Top big, curly grey hair and the world's smallest bowler hat.

Look, it's like this:

On this:

But this color:

It was one of those things that I stared at in disbelief wondering what the hell a man wearing a tiny little bowler hat on his enormously huge noggin of old man hair would be doing at this time of morning. He couldn't possibly be going to work unless his work was part of a Three Stooges Come Back Tour. Was he going shopping for a new hat? Was he on his way to the barber's and wanted to show the barber how he would like his hat to fit? It was a mystery.

Of course, when I pulled over to the side of his car I realized man with small bowler hat on big head of hair was really a tall woman with Very Unfortunate Bangs.

18 January 2010

Well hello 2010!

So much for my plan to document my days in England! I had that first day there where I was just sort of bumming around not doing much of any consequence and the next thing I know I’m sitting on the plane home wondering where the hell the time went. Such is life I suppose. To give you a very short recap (as it’s over a month gone now and all my memory will please me with is recaps):

ENGLAND WEEK ONE: While Andy slaved away at work (sometimes working well into the midnight hours) I did a solo trip to Leeds where I managed to strain my foot, spent a day with Andy’s sister exploring pretty (albeit touristy) Bronte landscapes and 4 floors of the Bradford media museum, did an overnight trip to York where I fell in love with a pub called the Priory (only to find out later on it was a chain), spent another evening in Leeds, and finally headed back to Crosby with Andy in tow.

Beautiful but touristy Hayworth

ENGLAND WEEK TWO: Andy and I spent two days in Liverpool city centre where we ventured around Albert Dock, stalked the Go Penguins, saw his friend in a Christmas play called ‘Merry Ding Dong’, and danced and sang with the older crowd at the American Irish Pub. The rest was Christmas week in Crosby where we spent a lot of time in Stamps stealing their internet, going to pub quizzes and wearing silly but awesome Christmas hats.

Beatles Go Penguins


ENGLAND WEEK THREE: More family Christmas time, but managed to fit in a Liverpool vs. the Wolves match at the Kop, another day trip into Liverpool city centre, and a two day trip to Llandudno in Northern Wales.

Freezing our tits off in Llandudno!

The weather…well, the weather was shit. I don’t suppose you can’t expect much else from England in December. I did get to see snow for the first time in 5 years. I soon realized that I didn’t miss snow one bit though we did have 15 minutes of fun throwing snowballs one evening on the walk home from the pub.

Things I love about England:
  • 1 & 2 Pound coins
  • The public transit system, mainly trains
  • Food such as: Quavers, sausage rolls, Hob Nobs, never having to ask to mayo on your sandwich as it’s always already there, awesome chocolate, ‘irish’ bacon, meat pasties and pies, and great beer.
  • Food & Beer deals – for example, most places offered a lunch meal with beer special for 4 pounds ($6.00).
  • Lack of stigma for actually having a beer with your lunch!
  • Friendly people (and I love when they mention that they thought they noticed an American ‘twang’ in my voice)
  • British television, including the commercials – funny stuff! Also, nakedness and swear words, oh my!
  • The accent of course…when I could understand them.

Things I didn’t really care for about England:
  • The lack of dryers – everything is hung on the radiators to dry, including your ‘knickers’
  • Trains and just about any other business that doesn’t run\isn’t open on holidays, or around a holiday, or just because they just don’t feel like it.
  • Food: No ranch dressing, peas and\or carrots being the only vegetable side served with meals, and lack of decaf coffee, tea, and soda.
  • Never having a good hair day because it was always damp in some shape or form.
  • Bathrooms: Piss poor water pressure in showers if lucky enough to have a shower, toilets that aren’t in the same room as the shower\bath, taps that are separated out into hot and cold so either you burn your hands or freeze them to death, and general lack of paper towel dispensers in public restrooms (would be alright if the hand dryers actually blew hot air).

And that was England, and it was good. Of course, the week after we got back from England, Andy and I got married, and that was good too. We had Andy’s mum and sister staying with us for about a week before\during the wedding and all my family and friends from Wisconsin showed up the weekend of. It was busy and hectic and a wee bit stressful and I came down with a cold, but I married a wonderful man (even giggling through the entire ceremony forgetting my lines) and I’m very happy.

The bachelor and bachelorette

Next month Andy and I leave for our honeymoon. We’re doing 3 days in Vegas for the Rugby 7’s tournament, then 5 days in New Orleans to catch the end of Mardi Gras.
So that’s 2010 so far. Sheesh! I’m exhausted.