29 January 2010

Me, on marriage

Earlier today Andy was at the County Clerk's office desperately trying to get a new original marriage license as our old original marriage license has seemingly been lost in the mail. We suspect that our officiator failed to put on the correct postage and\or place a return label on the original mailing which sadly could be a common oversight for a man of his age and nose hair length.

This puts me in a strange state of mind in the sense that if the original document stating our holy matrimony is lost (in my head I see it clinging precariously to the side of a letter bin screaming, "NOOOOO, I don't want to go to grandma's house!") then technically, really, until I and everyone that needs to sign the new document signs the new marriage license, we're not married. Well, we are, but we aren't, and it's very confusing and brings into light what it means to be married. Some may state that we are married in the eyes of the Lord, but since neither Andy and I believe in that sort of malarkey, it really falls on the legal side of married. Now legally speaking one would assume that the minute all parties sign the marriage license then the marriage is valid. But what if that document doesn't exist anymore? Part of me feels that at this point in time, if I wanted, I could refuse to sign the new marriage license and walk away never having been married. Not that I would do this, or even have the slightest urge or consideration to do that, but it's just one of those "what ifs" that I enjoy playing around with*.

It really puts in perspective some people's philosophy that marriage is just a piece of paper, doesn't it? I tend not to think this way. I am one of those hopeless lot that thinks of marriage as something a bit bigger. But that's just me. I can completely see the piece of paper side of things.

What I really wanted to bring up is this overwhelming need for anyone who approaches a newly married couple to ask them, "how's married life?" Before I say anything, up until 3 weeks ago I have uttered that question - quite a lot actually. Never again.

What I hate about this question (as a newly married) is that I don't know how to respond. My humor side and my honest side compete a lot over this inquiry and my honest side always wins out (much to my dismay). Nothing is different being married. Everything is exactly the same as it has always been except I sign my name different and call someone my husband. It's not like every morning since we got married a flock of white doves invade our bedroom singing a happy married people morning song. Not only would that piss off the cat but I'm sure even singing white doves leave a mess. What do singing doves even eat? Do you have to tip them like a mariachi band? Now that would be cool....a happy married people morning song by a mariachi band - but only if they had fabulous mustaches.

You know, I am lying just a wee bit. And I've been lying a wee bit as I'm a bit embarrassed about admitting this. Truth be known, I do feel different sometimes. It doesn't happen too often and when it does I'm usually ticked off about something else and its my way of making myself feel better. OK, here it is....sometimes I get a bit smug. It's terrible, I know. I pretty much yell at myself anytime the smugness comes up for being such a tool.

So what about you all? All 5 people who read my blog (who I happen to know are all married)...how's married life (ha!)? Did you expect it to feel different? Does it feel different over time? Do you know a good mariachi band?

*Another "what if" that I always think about is if everyone in the entire nation wrote in a vote to have Mickey Mouse as President, what would happen? I honestly hope Mickey Mouse would really become president.


  1. Well, the thing about married life, for me, is that I got a tad bolder in stating how I really feel. I guess because I know that it would take a lot to get rid of me now. It was nice to have a title for what Dave was also. We had been together for so long that "boyfriend" didn't feel right. Oh, and the tax deduction is pretty nice. Otherwise, nothing feels different about being married.


  2. I had similar sort of feelings when I first got married. I also believe marriage is MUCH more than a piece of paper. I get really pissed off with people who say this. Marriage is a lifelong commitment (most of the time). I also hated the "How's married life" thing. Hell, we are coming up 2 years and still get it!!! I think it helps so much living with each other first. We had our arguments that most people have when moving in together. It was a lot better to get them out of the way rather than get married and live together for the first time. A wedding i went to in October 2007 was a divorce by September 2008 because of this!!!

  3. Dane,

    I agree about living together first. You really get to suss someone out. 2 years and you're still getting "how's married life?" Oh dear. I better start getting some better answers!


    Tax deduction, eh? Well, I have to wait a whole year before I find out about that! :-)