So the weather has been beautiful in Liverpool recently…which was really annoying during the period of time when this household was under quarantine. Now that we are all mostly better (I promise you my son is not suffering from a smokers cough) I’ve been trying as hard as I can to get out and enjoy it- which mostly means copious amounts of trips to the park. When that gets boring (there is only so much fascination in looking at a duck) and the time until Henry goes to bed is still ions away, I hop on the bus with Henry and go somewhere. You know, just because I’m a stay at home mom doesn’t mean I actually have to stay at home.
Our trips out can be really pointless. I could say to myself, “You know, I am running out of deodorant, I better pick some up.” Now, my Tesco down the road sells deodorant and they actually sell one brand that is half decent but since I have time and it’s a nice day outside I’ll take Henry out for 3 hours to buy a single stick of deodorant at the Mega Boots downtown because they have three brands of deodorant that are half decent. For clarification purposes, I do not actually spend 3 hours purchasing deodorant.
A couple weeks back in the brief period where no one was seriously ill, I got it in my head that I was going to go to IKEA. I needed fancy napkins for Henry’s upcoming birthday party after all. Now the nearest IKEA to us is in Warrington which takes about 25-30 minutes by car. I checked the public transport schedules and it appeared that if I took the train, then the bus, it should only take us 53 minutes to get there. “Fabulous!” I thought and left the house around 11 AM with Andy shouting after me that I was crazy.
The first leg of our journey (train) went very well. I entertained Henry by giving him a bottle of Beano to shake. The bus part wasn’t as smooth as I first got lost trying to find the bus depot (it’s across the street) then had stomach distress (I still wasn’t quite recovered) and I ended up missing the first bus out to IKEA. All in all it took us an hour and a half to get there.
Of course, once you decide to take on an epic hour and half journey to IKEA, once you get there you try to make the most of it. Sadly, the children’s play area where you can drop your kids off while you shop (which I was kind of hoping for) doesn’t allow children under 3 (well played IKEA, well played). After doing the entire store and getting my napkins and a last minute decision for a collapsible mesh tube storage thing that I planned to use for Henry’s toys but had the overwhelming desire to wear it over my person and pretend that I was a robot (in red), it was time for lunch.
For all the times I have been to IKEA, I have never had their meatballs. Now I have. I’m not sure what the meatballs are made out of – seemingly salt, lard, meat paste and gravy – but they really are quite tasty. Henry liked them too which upset me only because I got the 10 count and he ate most of mine. I made him eat the cranberry sauce side as punishment though he didn’t seem to take the punishment seriously by constantly asking for more (well played Henry, well played). After lunch I let him play in the little children’s play section in the cafeteria to work off those meatballs. I had to navigate myself out of IKEA so I wasn’t concerned about burning off mine.
To conclude this story about IKEA (that wasn’t going to be about IKEA when I started this), it took me another hour and half to get home because I sat on the wrong side of the fucking street for 20 minutes and actually missed my bus (again!) that was going the right way. I think IKEA puts something in their meatballs besides salt, lard, meat paste and gravy that messed up my brain that day. Probably drugs. Illegal drugs. Smuggled drugs from mules that go “eee-haw, eee-haw” when they go through passport control.
On a somewhat unrelated note to all those Liverpool residents out there – did you know that there are different bus companies that run the same bus line? Like, you can take the 80A from the same stop and you’ll either get a Stagecoach or an Arriva bus. If you decide to get an all day bus pass, make sure you get on the Stagecoach bus when you purchase it. You can use it on either Stagecoach or Arriva but the pass on the Stagecoach is only 3.30 and the Arriva is 3.90. 60p in savings! Yes, I fully expect you to buy me a Toffee Crisp with your savings.
Oh yeah, also saw this at the pub this weekend. No, I have no idea what it was about.
Also, for Beth, some Liverpool fashion: