18 December 2011

7 more days to get your Christmas Dachshund!

So you might have guessed from my last non-post that I’ve been a bit ill this week. That basically means I haven’t done anything but moan, blow my nose and make tea for 5 days. We even had to call in reinforcements by the way of my mother in law to watch after the Henbot as moaning, blowing my nose and making tea is apparently exhausting. As the Brits say, I’m on the mend now so I thought I would clobber together some sort of update for you.

The biggest news of the week is that Andy got me a tumble dryer for Christmas. Well, technically he convinced the landlord to put one in and he made this request almost 6 months ago but it’s here now and it’s Christmas time and dammit, it’s the best damn present a girl with a love of laundry could ask for. The complainy side of me could mention that this tumble dryer takes up quite a bit of the dining room and that it takes about 2 ½ hours to dry a single load but I’m going to tell my complainy side to fuck right off as I snuggle my face into a soft warm bath towel. After a bit of a discussion on dryer running costs, Andy and I agreed that the dryer will only be used for the big stuff that takes 3-5 days to air dry (jeans, sweatshirts, fuzzy bath towels, etc) as the radiators work fine for the little stuff like socks and Henry’s clothes (which surprisingly is what I mainly wash). I’m a bit embarrassed to say that yesterday, after running my first dryer load, that I failed to sort the clothes. Having not used a dryer in almost a year I completely forgot to check if there were any sweaters or woolen socks. From what I can tell I didn’t do too much damage but if Andy suddenly thinks his feet went through a growth spurt then oops.

I'm inviting people around to hug my new tumble dryer.  Let me know if you want to come.

The lesser news of the week is that Christmas has finally arrived in our household. We ordered a tree off of Amazon – fake of course, you know, to protect the environment (ha! I’m not the best at remembering to water real ones) – and some lights. There was some fuck up with the first string of lights I ordered so I had to order another set which took fucking forever to get here. The new lights finally arrived this week so the tree finally went up – a mere week before it becomes redundant. To make this blog post longer and because I know how much you like pretty pictures, here’s some:

I love the smell of green plastic.  It's just so Christmassy.

These next two are proof that I lived in California too long:

 Ride'em Santa!

Nothing says Christmas like coconuts as big as your head.

And finally, the Christmas Dachshund. If you do not have a Christmas Dachshund on your tree then you are not properly celebrating Christmas. Of course, if you are Jewish you wouldn’t be celebrating Christmas, but I think a Hanukkah Dachshund would be fine if you would like to participate. I don’t know where you’d pick one up though – maybe Amazon, they have everything.

Because I know you are curious, I wanted to give you a Christmas card update. As it stands today, we have received 4 cards. One from my mom, one from my mother in law, one from the fabulous Almost American who pointedly did not sign the card with any X’s, and one from Yorkshire Tea. Yes, Yorkshire Tea. We don’t actually drink Yorkshire Tea (it’s a PG Tips household) but I once signed up for a free sample and now they send me shit all the time. Not actual shit, just tea samples, which depending on your opinion could be shit. Anyways, they sent me a card and I hung it up on principle.

So that’s all I have for you this week. I’ll be in the kitchen this upcoming week making cookies and breads and a monster trifle to show my love to my in laws by making them fat. It’s the American way.


  1. Ha Ha, the daschund looks like a turd with a head on it!

    Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you, Andy and Henry!

    Patrick & Michele.

  2. Pat: For that rude comment, the Christmas Dachshund will leave a special surprise in your stocking this year.

  3. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  4. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  5. Hey I sent your Christmas card with Andy on Sunday so if he forgot to give it to you, tell him off, eh? That'll make FIVE cards at least. I may or may not have put X on it. Probably did. You know what us Brits are like...

  6. Sal: You posted that comment three times! Must be important.

    Yes, I got the card and it's hanging up. And yes, it had three X's in it. So cool, you sent us moonshine!