25 August 2012

Quitters

So Andy has finally given me the go ahead to announce our big news to you. Actually, he didn't so much as give me the go ahead as much as it was me saying, “this is fucking stupid, I'm breaking the news in my blog in two weeks.” I've asked him many times for the reasoning behind his need for secrecy but I didn't catch much of it save rapid ramblings regarding a ticket tape parade. You guys, men are weird.

To all those who might have guessed that I'm pregnant again, you are absolutely right.

Oh. Ha. Ha ha. HA HA HA HA HA!

No, quite happily, I am completely free of human organisms growing inside of me save those that are all mine and to celebrate that fact, I'm having myself a nice big vodka drink as we speak. Chin chin.

The big news that I have to share is that we are moving back to America. The States. The land of the free and the home of big fucking restaurant portions. God bless In-n-Out burgers....and kosher dill pickles! I realize that this news means that a lot of you will stop reading this blog. An expat blog whose author is no longer an expat is, well, just another American talking crap about American things. I can't promise you this space will be interesting to you anymore but I'll keep on writing because that's just what I do. Hope you stick around long enough that I send you yearly Christmas cards....and believe me, I do do that shit. Ha, I said 'do-do'.

I'm sure many of you who have been considering making that big move across to England might question why we have decided, after only a year and a half, to move back. I can only give our reasons for the decision and hope that in the end you make up yours knowing as much as you can about the place and saying, “fuck it, I'm doing it anyway.” Research is a wonderful thing but sometimes you just have to go out and experience the shit for yourself. You might find that you discover something that works for you that didn't us. I will say this to the end of days – it may not have worked out for me and my family but I don't for a minute regret coming to the UK. I have learned a lot in a year and a half. I'm a different person than I was. I'm grateful for that. My cousin, Shannen, who has lived in Japan and South America and seen most of this world has always said to me, “If you want to go, then go. If it doesn't work out, you can always come home.” Basically I'm telling you, if you are considering moving to the UK, then fucking do it already. If it doesn't work out, you can always come home.

But enough about you already. Here are the three main reasons why we made the choice to pack up all our shit (and the damn fucking expensive ass cat!) and move overseas all over again.

THE WEATHER

This is the least important reason. I grew up in Wisconsin for fuck's sake. Wisconsin is like, the Arctic – except when it's not and it's like a Korean sweat shop (for the record, May and June are usually quite lovely). I'm used to bad weather. I survived the winter here in the UK without much complaint. It's been the summer that has absolutely killed me. There's an advert playing the radio here that promotes 'The Great British Summer!'. I often turn to Andy and say, “they mean that sarcastically, don't they?” While not all British summers have been the deluge that this one has, this summer was quite enough to say, “You know, I would really prefer not to be DAMP anymore.” They talk about the rain in England and Ireland but until you spend 5 months on end just being damp ALL THE FUCKING TIME do you appreciate what that kind of rain really means.

 The "Great British Summer"...at least there's booze.


THE MONEY

….Or the complete lack of it. I haven't been this poor since I was in my early twenties. I'm almost 40 for fuck's sake, I don't want to be poor anymore. I don't like discussing money, especially on a public forum such as this one. I could discuss to you exactly why we don't have any money, but it's boring. I'm also sure everyone could tell me ways that I could have more money (“stop smoking and drinking dumb ass!”)(“get a job and somehow find affordable day care!”) (oh..ha. Ha ha!) but at the end of the day, the way Andy and I want to live our lives is the way we want to live our lives. The long and the short of it is that Andy and I can't afford our lifestyle in the UK. We don't want to take all our vacations in a forest camping. We don't want to stay home watching television every weekend. This is actually the one point that makes me so angry when I stop to think about it. Continental Europe is RIGHT THERE. It's right there people! I could spit and hit France! Can we afford to go to France? Not right now we can't. Maybe if we saved for half a year....for a weekend away. To put this in geographical prospective – it's like being in Wisconsin and saving up for half a year to have a weekend away in Michigan. I've said to myself sometimes, “...if I was only a really good swimmer I could totally save on airfare.”

Andy knows that if we had this much cash, I'd throw it on the bed and roll around in it.


THE FRIENDS

I can't begin to tell you how much both Andy and I miss having friends. While Andy never gets out much at all (see paragraph above), I do manage to get to the Children's Center and around town a lot during the week. A year and a half ago I would have thought that with all my outings, surely I would have a gaggle of persons to be able to call on a Saturday afternoon to invite out for a coffee (or a drink) by now. Nope. Not a single fucking person. The only person I managed to start a friendship with had the balls to up and move away. This is actually the one point that I think someone else who is considering coming to England will have a lot better luck than me. Maybe you're younger. Maybe you don't have any kids. Maybe you are just more sociable. I don't know – I think maybe all the forces in nature worked against Andy and I in this aspect. All I know is that when I saw this posted on Facebook, there wasn't a giant sized Dairy Milk bar in the world that could keep us here anymore.

Keep that seat warm and the beer cold, guys.

So yeah. We gave it a go and it didn't work out. No regrets.

California, we're coming home.

25 comments:

  1. Good luck! Lots of the same reasons we moved back to Atlanta from London (well, back for me). You don't need to give reasons for what works best for you!

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    1. Thanks Andrea! No, I don't need to give reasons but I did anyhow. It's in a hope to cut down the question of moving back to all our peeps in CA. I hate repeating the same story...now I can just refer them to this post. Lol.

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  2. WELCOME BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :) :)
    When is the big move?? Keep blogging! I'll keep reading!

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    1. While Andy let me announce the plans, he still won't let me give the dates. Let's just say it's coming up pretty damn soon.

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  3. Best of luck with the move! Out of my blog list, there are two people announcing moves to the US today. Weird!

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    1. Ooh, what's the other blog that announced their plans to move back? That might be an interesting read.

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  4. Good luck with the move! I hope it is an easy one!

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    1. Thanks Angie! I hope it's easy too!

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  5. Oh no! Sorry it didn't work out for you! Keep blogging though.
    This summer was the worst one I've had in 11 years here. People in London will say it wasn't that bad, but it's us NW folk that got the worst of the weather.
    And for the record, I tried to meet up with ou, but you cancelled on me!

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    1. We definitely got the brunt of the weather this summer, I completely agree. And I also agree that I have flaked on you a couple of times. I blame distance, the child and well, the child. I do appreciate your efforts and I have no doubt I would have met up with you eventually if we were staying. I will continue to stalk you with yearly Christmas cards regardless.

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  6. Mo, I think it's a shame that you weren't able to make friends there because you are totally such a stitch (how's that for a midwestern expression?), but after several moves myself I can understand how difficult it can be. Will look forward to your adventures in re-patriatation (is that a word?).

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    1. I don't think we were gone long enough to have have reverse culture shock. But we'll see. I've never been a parent in the States so I think that's going to be the biggest adjustment.

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  7. You can chalk this up to one of your many life experiences that you will not forget or regret. I will, however, regret not making it out there to see you! Anyway, glad to have you back. We can finally make a play date with each other and for the boys. :)

    BH

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    1. I really wish you could have come (there's so much to show you BH!) but I completely understand why you couldn't. No worries, I'm just going to enjoy seeing you regardless of what continent it's on. :-)

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  8. Looking forward to having you guys back! First round's on me!!

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    1. Looking forward to it! Mind you, with Henry it's doubtful you'll see the two of us at the Harp at the same time but I'll hold you to that pint. ;-)

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  9. Don't feel bad about moving back! I almost lived in Ireland a year (my husband made it a year and a half). Then we moved back to CA to both get real jobs and have nice weather again. Rain all the time is the pits, especially when you're used to the wonderful weather in SoCal. Are you going back to Costa Mesa or will you head somewhere else in the US? Good luck with the move!

    (I don't comment often but I've been reading your blog since before you moved. Once upon a time I had my own expat blog - appetite for adventure. I stopped blogging when I moved back home.)

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    1. Yep, we're heading back to CM. I'm kind of used to the place. I used to think I'd like to live somewhere cheaper but CM always calls me back.

      Thanks for continuing to read! And don't feel shy commenting. Bloggers live for comments, unless they are to tell us we suck.

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  10. I find you too funny to stop reading your blog! Though I totally had hoped you'd be my friend if we ended up Liverpool. So, boo!

    I take it you guys got work lined up over here? We're hurting for some, and it's a constant battle in my mind, "did we do the right thing staying here?" I know the UK is even worse though, but at least there we'd have family to fall back on. Sigh.

    Hope things go smoothly for you in your move, and make sure to blog about it!

    ~ME

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    1. My husband has a job lined up yes. I'm going to continue to stay at home with the Henbot until he goes to school.

      If you are planning on coming, I'd recommend that at least one of you has a job here already. Then, if the other person plans to work as well, that you make sure to move in an area that has jobs in your field. I'm a computer tech. Liverpool doesn't have computer jobs. Hence (one of) the reason we decided I would just stay home with Henry.

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    2. Is it ok to ask what field Andy is in?

      I really have no training (I know, right?), and have been wondering what skills may find me work over there. Have any suggestions?

      Move to Seattle so my hubby can have another Scouser to commiserate with. Please.

      ~ME

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  11. Yay! Can't wait to see you guys!

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    1. Sorry we won't be there in time for your BD bash, but happy wishes from us!

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  12. I swear I haven't had internet for almost 3 weeks and just got it back today and went straight to your blog to find out what's happening. First of all YIPPEE that we will see you more again! And (blush) I feel honored to be quoted. You wont regret your time there (well, except financially), and it'll be a part of Henry's identity, too. Such exciting news! Good luck with the transition!
    Shannen

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    1. You know I've always looked up to you for all the traveling you've done. Antarctica FFS! You rule, and I'm not just saying that to get more Japanese stationary.

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