How I Got Twatted on Cooper's Hill

So I'm going to write about our Jubilee weekend break in full when I have more time. However, I really felt that this part needed to out there in the world as soon as humanly possible. (Please note that my laptop died this past week and I'm just in the process of rebuilding it - thus, I do not have Word installed yet to correct all my spelling mistakes - sorry!)

Before Andy and I decided to make the big jump across the pond, we had spent an evening trolling the internet for unusual festivals and events that go on in England. I have to give England credit where credit is due, they had more crazy things going on than one girl could hope to dream. The one event that had stuck out in our heads though was the Gloucester Cheese Rolling on Cooper's Hill. Once we finally moved here, it was always on our minds that we would someday go see it. Opportunity was at hand this year so we went.

The cheese rolling happens once a year in Gloucester on the late spring bank holiday. The whole premise is that they take a wheel of cheese and roll it down a very steep hill. People chase the cheese down the very steep hill and who ever gets to the bottom first (whether still on their feet or not) wins the cheese. It's typically not an "organized event", meaning that no one is paying for this to happen. People just order some wheels of cheese and show up on the hill on the day to chase it. If I had wanted to chase after the cheese, I could have. I didn't have to sign up or clear a waiver or go through training. I could have just plopped my ass on top of that hill and went for it. I had actually toyed with the idea of doing the actual cheese chasing but once I saw that hill up close and personal, no fucking way.

The hill in all it's glory.

The event started at 12 noon. If you ever decide to go, and I can't stress enough to you how much you NEED to go, head over there early. There are only 5 races and the whole thing is over in an hour. Parking is a pain (even if you go early) and you'll have to park on the side of the road and walk. Obviously since Cooper's Hill is in fact A HILL, you will have to pretend you didn't have those 3 double vodkas the night before as you hoof it up to the top. Also good to know is that since it's an unorganized event, there are no beer tents or more importantly, no toilets. It's a hill. That's it. Pee before you leave and don't drink a damn thing the entire time (unless you don't mind peeing in the woods, which to clarify, I don't, as long as I've drunk enough).

The start of the long walk up to the hill.

If you get there early (and you should), you can get a pretty good seat along the side. Mind, the hill is steep and there are brambles. Basically, it's not going to be comfortable but if you compare sitting your ass on a bramble compared to falling ass over tit down the hill after some cheese, you've actually got it made. Maybe.

Here we are 25 minutes before the start of the cheese rolling:



But come on, what you really want to see is yours truly getting twatted by a wayward cheese roller - which is exactly what happened:



Well, I think that's what happened because all I really know is that I was happily filming the very first race of the day ... and then I wasn't. What makes this event so cool is that when I finally stopped rolling down the very muddy slope of the hill (I took Andy down with me by the way) is that the cheese roller that ran into the spectators actually stopped and took the time to ask if I was alright. Once I finally got to my feet again, I happily showed the above video to everyone around me and we all had a good laugh. It was that sort of event.

There will be at least one "Ooof!" person in each of these photos.

Usually there is more than one "ooof!"

I don't know why this particular "ooof!" makes me laugh so hard, but it does.

We watched one more race from that location - in which I kept a very stern eye out for cheese rollers coming my way - then went to the bottom of the hill to access our injuries (I won!) and to stop Andy's legs from cramping. I have a pouty face in this picture but it was one of those happy war wounds - a bit like the ones I used to get playing hurling.

It seriously hurts worse than it looks, I promise.

So yes, cheese rolling. One of those things that really should be on everyone's bucket list.