We should all come with subtitles

For every busy week there is an utterly dull one and I’m afraid this is one of those weeks. I think the most exciting thing we did this past week was to see Harry Potter in the theater (sorry, cinema). Honestly getting out of the house is such a hassle sometimes that getting to see anything at the theater (sorry, cinema) has kind of become a big deal. Anyhow, I am an unashamed Harry Potter fan so I can boldly say that I enjoyed the movie (sorry, film) very much and yes, I did cry. If you read my last post, I suppose this doesn’t mean that much as I tend to cry at everything these days. Don’t even get me started about when I realized that we were out of vodka the other night.

We did also go to Andy’s cousin’s house for a child’s birthday party on Saturday. This is the first time that I’ve semi-socialized with strangers of the general British public in months. I say “semi” as it was a child’s birthday party and children tend to butt in at all points in conversation. I did realize at that party that my social skills have gone to utter crap in the last 5 months and that the general British public still thinks that Americans are unquestionably the Kings of Fat – ignoring of course their populations expanding waistlines (and can you blame them for the quality of chocolate here?). The highlights of my attempts at socializing were as follows:

1) I actually uttered the words, “Oh thanks mate!” in that offended but not really offended tone of voice. This was said in response to the Americans=Fat conversation but what makes this a highlight is that I used the word ‘mate’. I was utterly mortified about it once it left my lips. I don’t use the word ‘mate’ because it’s not in my American vocabulary. I might say “Aye Aye Matey” when I board a sea faring vessel because I’m obnoxious like that, but I don’t say ‘mate’. I tend not to even use the word when I’m discussing copulation by the animal kingdom which surprisingly I do all the time.

2) I still can’t understand half of what people are saying to me as when real live British people speak, they don’t have subtitles running under their heads like the people on television do. Yes, I run the subtitles pretty much constantly when I’m watching TV here. I used to blame this on Henry crying all the time so I couldn’t hear the TV properly, but now I just do it because I’m to lazy to listen that hard. I KNOW. This brought me in a world of hurt as at some point during the conversation on Saturday someone said something to me that apparently was very funny in regards to my accent (as everyone around me cracked up) but I didn’t understand a word of what he said so I just laughed along. I figured it was a better response then whacking him up side the head with the birthday cake platter. Err on the side of caution and all that. Of course when I asked Andy about it later he said he couldn’t remember the comment. Likely story!

3) I still need to get used to being greeted by the semi-hug, kiss on the cheek thing. I always forget and give the full American bear hug. I also turn my face all weird when receiving the kiss (giving them a good sniff of my hair) and of course forgetting to kiss back until it’s too late and end up kissing empty air right in front of the person who has already pulled away. I hope you can imagine that in your head because I’m sure it looks fabulous.

Not to be tried by Americans.

And that was the highlights of my week. Exciting hey? On an unrelated note, if you have a baby and they are nearing 3 months of age, get them one of these LifeFactory teethers. Like, right now. We got ours as a shower gift and it’s now on Henry’s list of All Time Favorite Things: Food, sleep, clean shorts and Ringy. That’s what we call this thing – Ringy. I’d like to point out that LifeFactory has not asked me to endorse their products – because they wouldn’t like what I’d have to say about their entirely useless, overpriced, hard to wash bottle – but the teether? Life saver. Get one. It’s cheap too, so you know, bonus.

 Get in there mate!

 "What?"